alwaysxlovexyou

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2005-02-04T09:28:00

2005-02-04T16:17:04Z

Taune Lyons

Autumns End, Arizona’s own deliciously disturbing metal band, can only be summed up in one word-matchless. For those of you who haven’t heard of Autumns End, or their new c.d., you’re missing out. They originated just over a year ago, and their fans are already steadily increasing. It could be Chris Cannella’s unique and refreshing voice that attracts so many people, or maybe how each song’s rhythm is so totally different from the last but just as good if not better. Don’t expect to hear screaming for the entirety of their self-titled debut, mean acoustics and bass really play a role in the songs as well. The drums are also incredibly intense, and the back up voices are riveting as well. The band consists of Chris Cannella, who is the lead vocalist and also the lead acoustic guitar. El is on bass and backing vocals. Joey Kamka kicks out the drums and Anthony Dejesus is in charge of rhythm, back up acoustic and vocals. The mix is brilliant- it’s hard to find such a balance throughout an entire album today. Their c.d. has spectacular tracks such as “Interlude of Decay,” “Reflection,” and “Bleed My Name.” Another good song is number eight, “Age of Reason.” This track it starts out with a slow guitar solo, and then the drums break in, rounding off the sound. After a few riffs, a voice takes over, and it’s almost like the words are speaking solely to you. That’s definitely a “pro” to Autumns End, it doesn’t seem like they are just talking to talk, (or rather, singing to sing). It really seems like something personal- almost like being able to hear a private conversation or reading their minds. Autumns End is not just a typical run of the mill band, they really stand on their own in a lot of ways. In a time where "emo" is so incredibly popular it’s nice to see a black sheep in the bunch. If you’re ready to cross over to the dark side, you can get the information on where to pick up your c.d. on www.autumnsend.com. So, fellow Autumns End fans- let’s get out to some shows!

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2005-02-01T09:32:00

2005-02-01T16:22:08Z

Taune Classic Movie Critique

In the world of troubled teens and the parents that do not understand them, it seems as though the 1950’s genre of movies explains what teens and parents are going through today better than most movies that have come out recently can. One movie in particular is Rebel Without A Cause, a classic film introduced in 1955, starring James Dean. We meet James Dean, or Jim, the actor he portrays in the film, in one of the first scenes. He is a minor, drunk and sitting in the holding area in the county jail. When his parents come to pick him up, his father takes his side, saying it was just a little drink, and he was much worse when he was seventeen. The mother and grandmother immediately begin yelling at Jim’s father, and break him down. Jim starts getting angry with his parents because of their frequent moves, trying to move Jim to a safe area, out of the harm he started to get the attention of his parents. After this night, Jim goes to his first day of school and meets the “cool” crowd, which are self-titled “The Kids.” Jim falls in love with Judy, who is Buzz’s girlfriend. Buzz is the most popular guy out of the bunch, and wants to start a fight with Jim because it is hinted that he feels threatened. Jim resists the urge to fight, but in the end gives in because Buzz calls him a chicken, and that is the opposite of what Jim wants to be seen as, what he thinks his father is, a scared “chicken.” Buzz and Jim and all the rest of the group, including Jim’s new best friend, Plato, come to watch them race cars along the edge of the ocean in a game where whoever jumps out of the cars first is considered the chicken, but the person who holds on tight until the very end is considered to be tough. Buzz’s sleeve gets caught on the door, and the car plummets into the ocean, resulting in his death. This instance is really the climax of the movie, where everything good and bad spur off of this moment. In some ways this movie is unrealistic, because just hours after Buzz’s death Jim and Judy confess their love for each other. This doesn’t seem likely out of the sets in Hollywood because they had only known each other for less than two and a half days. Although it is a tale of love, it’s real message is to get across how hard it is for parents to understand their children, which can lead to bad things. Each character in the movie has parents that do not understand them, and under completely different situations. For the most part it shows that parents just want the best for their kids, even though it does not seem like they know what they are talking about. In this teen tragedy it has everything you can think of that is hard for someone to go through. It deals with murder, death, betrayal, hurt and love. It is a classic movie, yet it still has the suffering and trials and tribulations of modern day.

=) HAPPY TAUNE!

2005-01-01T07:30:42Z

whoo hooo mahn half hour till 2005 baby! im so excited! im in n. califor-ni-a aka berkeley my love! good night good night. =) i finally got my monroe~! alright! just thought id update for a sec
love to all and to all .. a good night?
screw it..
love ya'll

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-12-13T19:20:00

2004-12-14T02:49:07Z

x\\ spell your name backwards: enuat haha thats funny! its like a robot! eeenuuuahht
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: no, :( how depressing! yay finally know what i want for chrissymas now!
x\\ what song makes you cry: let the bodies hit the floor. haha (fahrenheit 911)
x\\ what song makes you happy: hmm. rock the casbah.
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: dont really have a fav. one but i die everytime i hear creep/radiohead
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: the edge
x\\ height: i dont know actually i think im 5'5
x\\ hair color: blonde whoo hoo cant wait till this weekend angeeela
x\\ piercings: ears. but when i come back ill have a new one =) yay
x\\ tattoos: i totally have full sleeves

Right Now . . .
x\\ what color pants are you wearing: light blue
x\\ what song are you listening to: lord of the rings in the background
x\\ what taste is in your mouth? ICE! i <3 ice
x\\ whats the weather like?: id be happier if it were colder
x\\ how are you?: im alright
x\\ get motion sickness?: nope
x\\ have a bad habit?: according to chrissytina no, i think i have a few.
x\\ get along with your parents?: at times
x\\ boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
x\\ have a current crush: yes :)
x\\ have a big regret: yes, many.

Favorite . . .
x\\ tv show: i have no idea
x\\ conditioner: anything aveda
x\\ book: i liked silence of the lambs a lot
x\\ non alchohol drink: water
x\\ alchohol drink: mud slide. kahlua!! ahh good times.
x\\ things to do on the weekend: chilling with the el friends.

Have You Ever . . .
x\\ broken the law: curfew..
x\\ ran away from home: yeah kind of
x\\ snuck out of the house: yep
x\\ ever gone skinny dipping: hmm dont think so
x\\ made a prank phone call: haha oh yes. haha vanessa! yes, we'll need to book the ENTIRE restaurant sir, we have inside information that the president is going to be assasinated. um.. what are YOU wearing?
x\\ tipped over a portapotty: oh yeah definitely everyday of my life
x\\ use your parents credit card: yea
x\\ skipped school before: =) but of course
x\\ fell asleep in the shower/bath: yes yes
x\\ been in a school play: not since i was a little tike. i def. need to change that
x\\ had a boyfriend/girlfriend: yepp
x\\ had children: haha this reminds me of a funny conversation with vanessa and jake today
x\\ been in love: no
x\\ have a hard: ? what i dont understand
x\\ been hurt?: many times
x\\ gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: only with tortilla men in mexico. haha franki

Random . . .
x\\ have a job: not really BUILD A BEAR! haha serene.. soon. just no bow ties k?
x\\ your cd player has what in it right now: a mix of things. misfits. choking victim. sex pistols, the clash, and stevie ray vaughn.
x\\ if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: green or pink, but prob green
x\\ what makes you happy?: friends and good stuff
x\\ the next CD you're going to buy: autumns end! i <3 them! yay im so excited they have me an awesome poster for my birthday!

When/What Was the Last . . .
x\\ you got a real letter: when my sissy lived in california
x\\ got an email: today
x\\ thing you purchased: a bettie page poster thing for a xmas present for someone
x\\ Tv program you watched: Fabulous 40
x\\ movie you saw in the theaters: xmas with the kranks.. aww with the fam! including christopher. it was nice.
x\\ kissed: today
x\\ hugged: today
x\\ song heard: like an hour ago
x\\ place you were [ besides home ]: dropping chrissytina and nikki off
x\\ phonecall: mom. shes back from disneyland.. weird huh?
x\\ you were depressed: like.. idk. today. i better do well on finals.
x\\ you were in the hospital: in the hospital for me? when i was born.

When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
x\\ car: eco friendly
x\\ murder: george w. bush
x\\ cape: BATMAN! i love batman.
x\\ penis: amalia hahaahhh GAZELLE!
x\\ cell: broke :(
x\\ shoe: ugly UGGS aka uggly
x\\ fun: whoo hoo
x\\ crush: this one music thing.. too obvious to say :)
x\\ music: goooooood
x\\ chalk: sidewalk

politics politics politics..

2004-12-01T20:13:31Z

a little message to the wise:
<3

We who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
Turn Your Back on Bush is a new kind of event in an old tradition: direct nonviolent action. In the past four years, Bush has made it clear that dissent is unwelcome in his America, and his policies have created an atmosphere where demonstrators are corralled and their messages marginalized. Polls show that the majority of Americans disagree with Bush on numerous issues, but by refusing to talk to anyone but the most subservient press outlets and appearing only in highly staged events, he has cut himself off from all but his most ardent supporters.

We want our audience with our President.

On inauguration day, we will gather as citizens for the public events of the day and join the rest of the crowd. At a given signal, we will turn our backs. Until the moment we turn around, there will be nothing to distinguish us from the rest of the crowd. By leaving our signs and buttons at home, we will avoid all of the obstacles that Bush and his supporters have used to keep anyone who disagrees with him out of sight.

For this one moment we will speak as one and show Bush that winning an election does not mean he has the support of all Americans.

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-11-17T15:51:00

2004-11-17T22:52:08Z

The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.
The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

-- HL (Henry Louis) Mencken, Baltimore Evening Sun on 26 July 1920

i couldnt agree more.

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-11-17T15:48:00

2004-11-17T22:50:26Z

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-11-15T16:11:00

2004-11-15T23:24:56Z

yeeyah whose at the library? i hope you all know im kidding with those random expressions, i feel like a college frat boy when i say that. alright so this is exciting, i have a whole other hour of this! alriiiight. i should be doing my homework. :/ okay so i dont talk about anything personal anymore in this darn thing because ive come to the conclusion (actually a while ago) that it is pointless and desperate. so i will talk about things id feel perfectly fine talking to a random person i have just met about. lets bring it back to politics. ive seen a lot of you get extrememly into this whole "debate" against kerry, against bush, against republicans, againts democrats. as most of you know i am hardcore anti-bush. :) ohhh yeah. so evidently im going to have bias views and opinions. for example, on how he is a liar, a cheater, cant speak in complete intelligent sentences. (heck, even semi-intelligent is there anything in your brain sentences) but i just wanted to ask you guys, why do you like bush? what tiny little thing in your brain is telling you "hey this guy is cool, right on!" id just like to hear any intelligent feedback if you have any, because i havent heard any at school or anywhere else for that matter. so go ahead and tell me, id just like to know.
hmm okay so what else
oh yeah, i think im going to the donnas tonight, that should be fun. they arent great poets or anything deep, which usually against the grain of what i like, but hey there fun. (not exactly in the ska way, either. hmm weird) who knows if ill be going to social distortion next monday, thats got me bumming. oh well ill go on tuesday if it doesnt pull through. what else, oh yeah the vandals will be here on the 11th of next month. bad religion is tomorrow, i wish i was going :/. oh well too much on my plate to handle anyway. which reminds me i need to memorize my monologue..tonight. grr procrastination.

kelsey awaits.
xoxo

Anything is what she is
Anywhere is where she's from
Anything is what she'll be
Anything as long as it's mine

And the door it opens is the way back in
Or is it the way back out?

Anyplace is where she'll be
Anyplace, she'll see you from
Lies and secrets become your world
Anytime, anywhere she takes me away

And death climbs up the steps one by one
To give you the rose that's been burnt by her son

Point me to the sky above
I can't get there on my own
Walk me through the graveyard
Dig up her bones

I have seen the demon's face
I have heard of her death place
I fall down on my knees in praise of the
Horrible things that took her away

And death climbs up the steps one by one
To give you the rose that's been burnt by her son

Point me to the sky above
I can't get there on my own
Walk me through the graveyard
Dig up her bones

the misfits
its just so lovely. <3

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-11-11T15:44:00

2004-11-11T23:01:26Z

whew. it has been awhile since ive updated this darn thing, hasnt it? just been focusing on other things, i guess. so i cant even remember the last time ive said something in here, so i dont know what to say has happened. i guess not too much has happened. just stupid weekend stuff. halloween was depressing, because this year just wasnt like the great halloweens ive always known. oh well, we'll make up for it next year! devil's night was delishiously awesome though, angela the love and i went to her sisters boyfriends party and that was good stuff, and then we saw uh, well i forgot his name but we'll just call him "cheech" :) and it was funny cuz i saw him like 10 minutes earlier in totally different circumstances. small world. and then we went to my sisters spur of the moment par-tay and angela and i talked it up with the bologna man and a few other awesome people (aww) then angela got sick :( so i made her a beddy bie in the front room cuz i didnt know where else to put her! i was kinda scared cuz i didnt know if she was gonna be okay and i felt like a jerk for just leaving her there, but i love her and she knows it. so that was fun sleep deprivation since i went to sleep at 7 and woke up in alisons bed at ll.. and then angela and i walked to jamba juice and took the long way around past taco bell then around to sidewalk surfer, fun stuff. so then this weekend i hung out with serene and vanessa and i went to arizona mills and made these homies ( hah just kidding) think she had herpes. the people at panda express laughed so it was worth it. hmm so oh yeah i saw the incredibles! rock on, that was cute as hell. :) sunday was cool i was with the frankster and we went to the battle of the bands thing, and that was cool. i still think sdf should have gotten first place, like they im sure know, they rock the casbah and those people with no shoes looked like they were 25 anyway.. cheapasses. ahh yay im gonna be 15 on the 22nd, yes thats right. its a monday :/ grr. oh well! okay so i was tlaking to "the" bird and she said that i might go to the sold out social distortion show with her and the lead singer of autumn's end.( its on my birthday) HOW EXCITING IS THAT? im jealous of my own damn self. happy birthday to me.
i will leave you with some lyrics becuase you are loved. <3
What's the purpose of it? Capitalism would not collapse if Grenada remained revolutionary. And Reagan was right, it wasn't a matter of direct resources that you needed from that country. He said, "Nutmeg is not the question." I mean, that was Grenada's biggest export, we could get perfectly good nutmeg from Africa, you don't need Grenada's nutmeg. So why did they invade Grenada? They invaded Grenada because they were serving notice to the people of the Caribbean, and to the people of Latin America, and to the people of the world, that you cannot drop out of your client-state free-market system. That if you tried to take an independent source, and that if you use your land, your labor, your resources, and your capital, and your markets in a different way, in a collectivist way, if you use them to benefit the needs of your people, rather than to be milked like a cow for foreign investors, if you do that, this is what's going to happen to you.

The sinner bows at the feet of the dead
no souls to save
just hope for an early grave

<3 CHOKING VICTIM.
yay!

so i start a revolution.

2004-09-17T23:34:00Z

yay im so glad its friday. i was gonna go to edgefest with these really cool people <3 but then i decided against it. too much homework. yeah doesnt that suck? there are wayy too many tests that are worth SOO MUCH in science, and i have to get a good grade or ill be shot and killed, so yep. oh well, the bad bands out weigh the good at edgefest in my opinion. i just wanted to see flogging molly and authority zero, but maybe another time. :( im so tired. school drains everything out of me. im a spazz at lunch,its terrible. serenes used to it, but i dont think the other kiddos are, oh well. they'll deal. im a little pissed off bout something, but thats okay. im sure people mean well. i just dont understand it. you cant trust anyone i guess :) it kinda really sucks then your so close to someone, yet you just watch the friendship erase itself. theres nothing you can do i guess, it just slips out of reach. i always thought mercede and i would be like.. sisters forever but i havent talked to her in atleast a few months, and its just happening all over again. god damnit it sucks. well i found this really cool underground music site, so im excited. ..:later:..

xox

please dont put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band who'll through it all away

should be heart.

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-09-12T16:26:00

2004-09-12T23:38:04Z

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=robert+smith/v=2/SID=w/l=IVR/*-http://www.btinternet.com/~ann.pinnock/rich.htm

i think im turning japanese i think im turning japanese .. i really think so

2004-09-09T04:38:46Z

yay im in a good mood now! its the clash, it has a tendency to do just that. :) well im doing my current event for science.. god, my grades really need some major help. i almost killed myself they were so bad. eh. oh well ill just have to kick my ass to bring them up. i can doooo it! haha yay so the first young democrats meeting is tomorrow im excited! its at lunch.. that kinda sucks. bleh. so im in french club too and i feel so special! whoo hoo even though aerica thinks im a loser! haha you know why im in it! just kiddin. i think i might have joined too many clubs, but ill deal with it. i dont like the expression lol. its so lame. its just a way of saying.. haha yeah wow your stupid.. i dont know what to say but i have to say something so im gonna put lol. hmm. today i made 20 bucks, thats always a good thing i suppose. i love the song lovecats. such a good song. but any song from the cure is. oh yeah .. angela if ur reading this idk if you found this site, but its like real green day ringtones, like where they are all singing, and theres this one where billie is like saying you cant even pick up your phone! its funny. i want one. i forgot to tell you before you left online, and i dont feel like calling anyone. live journals are kinda boring, its kinda funny how you find out that random people read them though. like people you dont even talk to, its also kinda nice that people maybe just a little give a damn about you. or maybe they're just nosey. oh well its all good in the neighborhood. =) soooo today i hung up on frankie.. and never called back. sorry i didnt mean to i just remembered. i <3 you though! alright well im gonna do my homework, yay! xoxoxoxoxoox

lyrics for the lovelies -

This is the city of the dead
As we lie side by side in bed
I’d do something else instead
But it is the city of the dead

We went out kickin’ around
But you got drunk an’ fallen down
An’ I wished I could be like you
With the soho river drinking me down

In the city of the dead
Fall in love an’ fall in bed
It wasn’t anything you said
Except I know we both lie dead

Don’t you know where to cop
That’s what new york johnny said * * * *
You should get to know your town
Just like I know mine

While all the windows stare ahead
An’ the streets are filled with dread
Every nation in the world
Slinks through the alley after girls

What we wear is dangerous gear
It’ll get you picked on anywhere
Though we get beat up we don’t care
At least it livens up the air

But somedays we hide inside
All courage gone and paralysed
Sniff that wind of ugly tension
Today the jerks have got aggression

It is the city of the dead

i look inside myself and see that my heart is black

2004-09-06T22:45:32Z

this weekend was very eventful. :) thats good i suppose. im so tired of going to saguaro. i feel like im losing myself and it sucks. everyone seems really like not there.. like they only care about themselves and what they are wearing.. whatever. i guess it goes with being our age, but im just so sick of it. i feel dead. thats all im gonna say cuz i had a huge long lj thing and i accidently deleted it, so im not gonna pour out my heart all over again. its useless.

Sing a sad song
In a lonely place
Try to put a word in for me
It's been so long
Since I found this place
You better put in two or three
We as people, are just walking 'round
Our heads are firmly fixed in the ground
What we don't see
Well it can't be real
What we don't touch we cannot feel

Where we're living in this town
The sun is coming up and it's going down
But it's all just the same at the end of the day
And we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it's wrong
So we don't ask why
Cause it's all just the same at the end of the day
We're throwing it all away
We're throwing it all away
We're throwing it all away at the end of the day

If you need it
Something I can give
I know I'd help you if I can
If your honest and you say that you did
You know that I would give you my hand
Or a sad song
In a lonely place
I'll try to put a word in for you
Need a shoulder? well if that's the case
You know there's nothing I wouldn't do

Where we're living in this town
The sun is coming up and it's going down
But it's all just the same at the end of the day
When we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it's wrong
So we don't ask why
Cause it's all just the same at the end of the day

Don't throw it all away
Don't throw it all away
Don't throw it all away
Don't throw it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away

Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
You're throwing it all away at the end of the day

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-18T16:57:00

2004-08-19T00:07:13Z

i havent written in a while, so yay i decided to do just that! today we had that jodee blanco lady come to the school. that was so depressing. her life seems like perfect for a movie. it has a great ending too, it almost seems fake. haha. i have a headache, i have been getting alot of those lately, and it sucks. i have like.. nothing to say. this week im checking out cafa, so i might be missing some of school to do that. fun stuff. yay i think serene's gonna check it out too, and maybe michael as well. par-tay. hope my mom likes it. why is it soo hot hurrr. haha jk i did that for amalia. no but its so hot, its sickening. yesterday i went to go talk to the student council person and she was dissapointed because like no one tried out for the student council, and this is the biggest freshman class. that sucks cuz i didnt hear the announcement and it was too late. damn. well im gonna go chill with monkee! haha wow. later.

you are.

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-12T20:14:00

2004-08-13T03:14:27Z

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Courage
In a survival situation, you:	Fight, but reluctantly
Your hidden talent is:	Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:	Cunning
In groups, you:	Are the center of attention
Your best quality is:	Your indomitable will
Your weakness is:	Your lack of sensitivity

Quiz created with MemeGen!

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-12T19:57:00

2004-08-13T02:57:08Z

Your Icecream Flavour is...
Choc-Chip Cookie Dough!

You are fancy shmancy! You have all the bells and whistles and you attract the most gluttonous of ice-cream shop patrons. You are fattening and intensely rich. That being said, you are very tasty and have a huge fanbase! good for you!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-12T19:52:00

2004-08-13T02:54:33Z

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-12T18:32:00

2004-08-13T01:41:00Z

hmm so today was the second day of school. interesting. i think im starting to get the hang of the whole classroom thing. i didnt even really get lost today! whoo hoo. thats always good. except i had to ask the security gaurd where french was. haha that was funny. aerica thinks they are scary, but i had a weird looking short one, he didnt seem that bad. im not used to getting up this early, though, i fell asleep in the shower. the only class im a little iffy about is theater, it could be great or totally suck. not much of an inbetween thing. i need to find my locker though, for now im using the lovely serenes. which isnt bad, but id liketo find mine, and figure out how to use the locks. that would be nice. so other than that, i didnt go to the mixer, i heard it was totally lame last year, which means it will probably be even worse this year. but who knows. i just wasnt up for it, i guess. i thought iw as gonna be grounded. but i guess im not. i cant believe there is so much homework, already, its disgusting. i havent even finished all of my summer reading though, so i gotta do that by monday, considering theres gonna be a test on great expectations. i hope school doesnt suck so bad this year, and i really hope it storms and rains and gets colder! god damnit its wayy too hot. i thikn i would be happy with just a little rain. grr. well, i gotta do my chores, because im a good, honest person.

xoxo

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-08-11T20:56:00

2004-08-12T04:10:59Z

wow. today was the first day of school. it was okay i guess. i mean nothing was bad about it, its just not the kinda school i wanna go to. =/ i really wanna go to metro arts. :( saguaro is just kinda not me, i guess. an art school would look totally better since i wanna go to uc berkeley. this sucks so bad. i think i have to stay here for a month though, so i have to deal with it i guess. everyone looks the same and acts the same and it bugs the hell outta me. it was a hundred fifteen today! jesus whats good about arizona? theres nothing good. its so boring. god, i am so whiney today. haha omg i love the butterfly effect guy haha christina i came out of the CLOSET about it!! whoa ill say w.e later. shit bye

killing me softly.

2004-08-10T05:44:32Z

ahh! i havent written in this thing for quite some time. so i went to the arizona mills today with hobo, and franki was there, i didnt see the mobster though. fun stfuff. i got some cool shit i suppose. yesterday i woke up at 6, it was terrible. my mom called from rhode island to rub it in that i didnt go with them. god, stupid me? why did i decide on school instead. so yeah, and then i couldnt go to sleep. eh. so then i went to this property of my dads that hes selling and mowed the yard.(fun.) by then it was 9. so then i went to yoga for two hours, and im sore. ouch. and tomorrow im doing all over again cuz i luhf it. okay anyways so then i went to birds and went through all this shit and put it in boxes. and then bird and i dropped off ryan aka "dirty" and nick, and then we picked up the other ryan aka "uncle fondle" haha wow.. i asked, no one knew. so neways. then amy and amber came home and i guess amber is stephen hout's older sister. thats pretty damn chill. and her dad or her uncle went to my dads high school in the same grade. weird. so then we met the neighbors, everyone was happy. blablabla. i had coffee. it was eventful. tomorrow is school. :/ my sister is coming with me instead of my parents though, so that should be fun. my new obsession is lex from smallville. its amazing. i love him to death. i love insane guys. its great. and i guess hes turning evil for the next season. even better. he can join freddy and jason in my love affair. hmm. so. im living with mydad for the week. and thats fun stuff. i need to take a shower. i need to feed my dog and my cat. i just remembered. why cant school start at 11? and then you can get out at 5. even better, you can start at 10:45 and get out at like 4:15. omg that would be spectacular. mm if i became president this world would change for the better. yes indeed. AHHH FUCKK.
fah shizzle. SHYZA.
i forgot my shit. haha
later.

realize real guys go for real down to mars girls. ( haha great line )

2004-07-30T19:20:54Z

yay! good mood today. so i didnt go to saguaro this morning, but my mom woke me up at 7 anyway. i was pissed. i had no idea there was a 7am until this morning. it was terrible. so im exhausted, even though i got to bed at a pretty early time of 2:30 last night because of my toothache. ouch. so im a little tired, but totally ready to scare a few ten year olds in the middle of the night. ( little sister and friends ) oh joy. i dont really have much to talk about, haha. oh bird and i went to the mall and made my little sister build a bears, and it was the cutest thing. i made like a little greaser teddy and named him danny from grease. it was amazing he has he black jacket and chain, and i was going to get him some red satin chonies, but decided against it, because i thought it would probably freak out the little one, since shes scared everytime there is an ad for chipendales male strippers. hahaha wow. im not the nicest sister, but thats just too bad. mmm i love the darkness, but i do have to agree with bird. it seems like justin hawkins kind of dresses and maybe acts just a little like Freddie Mercury. oh well. :0 i love them all the same. thats so weird though i was like looking over something, and it says that the darkness has gotten death threats, thats messed up!

okay i dont feel like lyrics haha

xoxo

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-07-29T12:20:00

2004-07-29T19:55:51Z

I want you to notice when i'm not around.

So, today should be .. interesting. I have a lot to do, and hopefully I'll get around to it. Grr. I am so tired, I couldn't get any sleep last night, and now I have this voice in the back of my head that is fucking nagging me like the little brat she is. That would be my little sister.. Fabulous. This thing is taking forever to download. I heard they suck live is so good. It keeps me sane. So Toni reminded me how much we have in common. It was a great little reunion.. thing last night. Until Ross broke it up cuz his airsoft gun broke or something.. eh idk. And what is with kids these days? How can you not like The Cure? Robert Smith is such a genius, it amazes me. But then again how can people like "bands" like Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, and that little canadian poser Avril Levigne. It makes no sense. Where is music heading to today? I say stick with old school stuff. I love how pilar leaves 22 messages every time i'm on away, its great. I want to meet Johnny Depp. I think I'm in love with someone I have never met. I'm so excited hes going to be the new Willy Wonka in the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory directed by TIM BURTON!! yay. i love hippies. Well, i think i've written enough. no lyrics. too busy lol. but listen to the beta band and the standard!

xoxo

yay! had to do this..

2004-07-29T03:26:17Z

well, i am very bored. so thanks for this amusement, pilar.

C U R R E N T-
[ Current Clothes ] hawaii shirt ( cant remember where i got this, i've never been to hawaii ) and jeans
[ Current Mood ] bored because i cant find tori's number GRRR
[ Current Music] in a second my station on yahoo. mwahaha
[ Current Taste ] ice water. mm mm good.
[ Current Make-up ] i just got done mowing my neighbors lawn for money, so whatever was on, is totally gone now.
[ Current Hair ] messy. what a great look.
[ Current Annoyance] cant find tori's cell phone # therefore cant tell pilar something
[ Current Smell ] tuna for my sister's kitten. gross.
[ Current Desktop Picture ] pirates
[ Current Book you're reading ] well i should be reading great expectations, does that count?
[ Current CD in CD Player] radiohead, pablo honey
[ Current DVD in player] jaws. yay!
[ Current Refreshment ] ice water, man.
[ Current Worry ] that i wont finish my books before school starts.
-L A S T. P E R S O N-
[ You Touched ] well, its not a person, its neo.
[ You Talked to ] sabrina
[ You Hugged ] bird.
[ You Instant messaged ] sabrina
[ You Yelled At ] sunnie, she's extremely annoying.
[ You Kissed ] my mommy :)

-F A V O R I T E-
[ Food ] sushi! or thai.. yum
[ Drink ] coffee. or jamba juice.
[ Color ] how could you have a favorite color?
[ Album ] couldnt decide with a gun to my head.
[ Shoes ] im open for any kind, i love em.
[ Candy ] mounds. i love coconut
[ Animal ] i love all animals
[ TV Show ] newlyweds, strictly to make fun of the ditz, cribs, punk*d, the one with carmen elektra and dave navarro, and 6 feet under.
[ Movie ] i love movies. how could i decide?
[ Dance ] it dont matter, now do it? haha jk
[ Song ] i enjoy any song, all music is beautiful in it's own right.
[ Vegetable ] spinach. its so good.
[ Fruit ] mango, pineapple and coconut, anything tropical. ( im thinking pina coladas) :)
[ Cartoon ] im not in love with cartoons, so i have no idea.

-A R E .Y O U-
[ Understanding ] yeah
[ Open-minded ] definitely
[ Arrogant ] at times, maybe
[ Insecure ] yep
[ Interesting ] um.. not sure i can answer that.
[ Hungry ] nope
[ Friendly ] i hope
[ Smart ] why not..
[ Moody ] haha yeah i guess sometimes
[ Childish ] when i want to be
[ Independent ] hell yeah
[ Hard working ] yeah.
[ Organized ] when im in the mood
[ Healthy ] i suppose. currently i am working on being a vegetarian. who knows.
[ Emotionally Stable ] yes, but friends help a lot in that area
[ Difficult ] i love being difficult.
[ Attractive ] nope. johnny depp is. <33 grr. and jason.. chainsaws are fabulous
[ Bored Easily ] naw, i entertain myself.
[ Messy ] haha you should see my room.
[ Thirsty ] i have water, i want coffee.
[Responsible ] yep
[ Obsessed ] yes in an extrememly stalkerish way. haha just messing no.
[ Angry ] at times, yes.
[ Sad ] same answer as above
[ Happy ] yeah, i would scare myself if i was happy all the time though
[ Hyper ] hell yeah i am. when i dont care about feeling self conscious though.
[ Trusting ] you can trust me with anything. O:o)

-W H O .D O .Y O U .W A N T .T O-
[ Slap ] i dont like to waste my time on that, unless you really piss me off.
[ Get Really Wasted With ] usually with my partner in crime. or with bird. idk whenever i feel like it whoever is there.
[ Get High With ] hmm, not too sure.
[ Talk To Offline] anyone interesting
[ Talk To Online ] anyone interesting
-WhO-
[ makes u laugh the most ] pilar. bird. funny people.
[ makes you smile ] many people have that ability
[ gives u a funny feeling when you see them ] this person that doesnt know : /
[ have a crush on?] im not sure right now. :(
[Has crush on you?] no one
[ Easiest to talk to] pilar

-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[ sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to I.M. you) well, considering i usually have other things to do.. haha i think i did once though.
[ save aol/aim conversations ] nope. oh yeah i did for movietimes.
[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ] yeah, when catty girls start shit with me. guys are totally more fun than girls.

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[ fallen for your best guy friend ] eh. yes.
[ been rejected ] yeah
[ rejected someone ] yes :(
[ been cheated on ] no…
[ done something you regret ] yes, definitely. but mistakes just give you experience

-D O .Y O U -
[smoke cigarettes] nope. nasty smell.
[could you live without the computer?] ya
[color your hair] yeah. a lighter blonde. lame. i want black, but idk if it will loook like shit. that would kinda suck.
[ever get off the damn computer] haha of course.
[habla espanol] very little
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?] 187
[drink alchohol?] yep. : / is that bad?
[like watching sunrises or sunsets] yes i do. anywhere. especially with someone i care about. but mexico has beautiful ones. :)
[what hurts the most physical pain or emotional pain ] emotional. physical can be esily repaired.
[ get involved with after school stuff ] yah
[ make a fool out of yourself often?] haha are you kidding me? thats what makes life fun!

-N U M B E R .O F-
[ had your heart broken ] breaking. lust is deadly.
[ hearts ive broken ] im not sure
[ close friends i have ] a few
[ CDs i own ] a lot
[ scars on my body ] never counted

^ thats an odd ending!

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-07-28T17:23:00

2004-07-29T00:30:13Z

this is my first entry. interesting. i hate how people lie, and how fake they are. it amazes me. actually, it really just disgusts me. i wont elaborate though. so i have to go to the damn library today to get great expectations. great. what am i getting myself into, here? yeah, im not quite sure. anyways, im not going to rhode island anymore, so im not missing the first week of school. i guess thats good, then. i saw catwoman last night, it sucked monkey ass. dont see it. it was incredibly cheesy, the dialogue was laughable, and halle berry or however you spell her name needs to stick to dramatic roles. hmm. this friday is my little sister's birthday party, which means that i have to chill with little demons for 24 hours and possibly see the cinderella story. dear lord. i hate that girl hilary duff, she honestly scares me. it will be okay though christina will be there. :) pilar has to go to her little cousins birthday party that night, so it looks like i wont be seeing that lady. neither will chester. pilar is awesome though, all of you people should know this, she's an excellent friend, although we havent seen much of eachother lately. oh well. hmm. well i guess i'll just go ahead and do what everyone else in this world does and leave some lyrics. oh yeah and if any of you have a deadjournal, you need to tell me, because i want one.
much love.

You're so gorgeous I'll do anything
I'll kiss you from your feet
To where your head begins
You're so perfect you're so right as rain
You make me
Make me hungry again

Everything you do is irresistable
Everything you do is simply kissable
Why can't I be you?

I'll run around in circles
Til I run out of breath
I'll eat you all up
Or I'll just hug you to death
You're so wonderful
Too good to be true
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply delicate
Everything you do is quite angelicate
Why can't I be you?

You turn my head when you turn around
You turn the whole world upside down
I'm smitten I'm bitten I'm hooked I'm cooked
I'm stuck like glue
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply dreamy
Everything you do is quite delicious
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?

- The Cure <3 ( Robert Smith is a musical genius )

alwaysxlovexyou @ 2004-07-28T17:15:00

2004-07-29T00:17:17Z